TABLE OF CONTENTS
Is that really you in your pictures? How do I know you’re real?
I’d love to refer you to the pricing page of my website builder as well as my fancy boudoir photographer’s website. They will certainly vouch for me. If they don’t, then I have no clue where all my money is going. lol. Seriously though, yes, that is me. I am verified on rentmen
Can you send me a picture of you wearing a bunny onesie while holding a gang sign with your left hand and Ben and Jerry’s with the other? it’s just to make sure you’re real.
Ha! No. No offense to Ben or Jerry.
Are you available now?
I require at least 5 hours’ notice for same day appointments. Same day appointments for new clientele will be accepted with employment verification only. No exceptions.
Please take into account that, although I’m willing to travel all over the South Florida and Naples area, I reside in Miami Beach. Please plan accordingly for your convenience and mine.
What is the best way to contact you?
Priority is given to booking forms , emails, and texts (in that order).
I’m trying to call you and I keep getting an automated reply, are you a bot?
I think I’m human, but the jury is still out on that one. No, I do not pick up phone calls for my safety and yours. We do not know one another and every new client must be initially screened before participating in any unprompted interaction.
How do I get screened to schedule a date?
There are 3 ways to successfully complete screening:
If you have met with other ladies in the past 6 months, I will accept two or more references along with the name/alias you use with them, your phone number, and email. Your references must be reputable and have active websites or ads. I only accept references from independent companions, no agencies. I always recommend providing more than two references in case one does not respond.
If you are new to this or do not have any recent references, I require your full name, phone number registered to your name, work email, and a link to a business website with your bio/information on it. In place of a work website, I will accept a link to your LinkedIn account. With LinkedIn, I will send a connection request from my private account and will delete you it as soon as you approve it. Please be advised that the LinkedIn profile must be legitimate (I will not accept any sloppy looking profiles or profiles without connections.
You may also provide an image of the front and back of your state designated ID. All images are discarded upon completion of screening.
I don’t have any references (or current ones), why do you need my employment information?
Unfortunately we still live in a society that considers companions dirty at the very best and subhuman at the very worst; And because of my rigorous screening, I have actually caught dangerous individuals trying to schedule a meeting with me. I simply request information that is publicly listed so that I can verify that you are who you claim to be. I understand and respect that your privacy is of utmost importance and I would be more than happy to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement after my lawyer reviews it.
What do you do with my information once I’ve been successfully screened? How can I trust you with it? How do I know you won’t do anything sketchy with it?
I discard of all personal information unless you clearly specify that you would like to use me as a reference. Otherwise, you may rest assured that I will not allow your personal information to crowd up my inbox or my phone. I need that storage for selfies with my dog. All jokes aside, though, I love what I do and have no need to deceive anyone, let alone ruin my business. If I wanted to rob you, why would I put these many deterrents in your way?
Do I have to go though the screening process every time I want to take you out?
Absolutely not, unless we have not spent time together within the last 6 months and you are not a regular client.
What do you charge for X, Y, or Z service?
Any medium of exchange used for the attainment or intent to attain legal adult personal services is simply for the time spent in the delivery of companionship. Please see go to packages for donation rates.
I messaged you at 3am in the morning. Why have you not responded?
I was busy doing this thing where I close my eyes for 8 hours until the next day. Oh, yeah, sleeping.
Do you offer discounts?
Do you ask your lawyer for discounts? Or your accountant? Or your landscaper? No.
However, if you book a longer session the hourly rate is reduced significantly.
So-and-so provider charges X amount less than you. (not really a question but it’s usually said like it merits a response.)
Response #1: If you want price matching go to Walmart or Best Buy.
Response #2: Then call So and So provider! Why are you calling me?
***Nothing turns me off more than haggling. Using this approach will effectively ensure that we never meet.***
What are you into? Are you kink friendly? Do you see women? Couples? Groups? Teletubbies? Gold barfing unicorns?
I certainly am and I certainly do! Unfortunately, I am legally unable to answer any specific questions regarding this matter as my practice is in the U.S. Don’t blame me, blame the government. Any text or email inquiries regarding this subject will lead you right back to this page.
Do you see newbies or anyone under 35?
As long as you are kind, respectful, and honest, I don’t care if you’re 21, a virgin, or have any sort of physical limitation.
Do you have an agent or agency?
No. I’m 100% independent. I created my website, all my ads, and all my email communications. If we meet, it’s just you and me.
When is your incall available?
Mon-Thurs 10am-6pm EST
What is your donation?
Whether you’re meeting me or any of my peers, please make sure to always check out the engagement donations page when available before asking this question. We do not discuss this information through email or telephone for safety and neither should you.
How do I compensate you? Do you accept gift cards?
We’ve made an appointment but now I have to cancel because my mother-in-law fell down the escalator at Nordstrom and now she’s staying at my house and this person with early onset dementia is kinda raising my kids because my wife is on sabbatical at Betty Ford’s. Can we reschedule?
I absolutely understand that life happens, flights get delayed, hurricanes form, children get sick , and meetings go over time. Therefore, there is no cancellation fee as long as you cancel or reschedule over 24 hours in advance. Cancellations within 24 hours will require a re-booking fee of 25% of the original booked total in order to schedule a date with me again. If you pull a No Call/No Show, that's 100% of the original booked total. Failure to comply with these requirements will result in blacklisting.
Where are you located?
Miami Beach, FL. If you book an incall appointment, be advised that the general location will be provided but the specific address will not be disclosed until the day of our meeting. You can see a map of the general area here.
Can I drive to you? Is there parking available?
Parking in Miami Beach’s residential parking zones is publicly available to visitors from 7am to 6pm on weekdays. There are public parking garages available all around my neighborhood.
I’m in Florida on vacation/business trip/for a funeral, will you come to me?
Certainly! If I am visiting you anywhere that is not your home, please get acquainted with the establishments’ policies regarding parking, front door, and elevator access.
Once here, how do I give you your donation?
The donation for our engagement should be placed in an unsealed envelope upon the start of our meeting and left in clear view for me to see, preferably in the restroom. Please do not make me ask for it as it is potentially unsafe and can put a damper on both of our experiences.
I’m having a blast during our date, can you stay a little longer?
Absolutely. If I do not have any previous commitments and we share some chemistry, you can certainly extend our date. However, my time is the commodity that I’m providing, therefore, DO NOT ASK ME TO GO OVERTIME WITHOUT COMPENSATION OR ASK TO SPEND TIME OR JOIN YOU FOR LUNCH “OFF THE CLOCK”. Doing this will ruin a perfect date, make me feel disrespected, and I will not see you again or provide positive feedback if you use me as a reference.
Can I use you as a reference?
If our date was pleasant, and you proved to be a kind and respectful person, you are more than welcome to use my information to give to other providers. I will not feel cheated on or scorned. I do what I do because it’s fun to me and so should you. Give me a heads up if your appointment is within 3 days so I can respond on time.
Can I leave you a review on X, Y, or Z website?
I accept reviews granted that they are tasteful and not obscene. Understand that activities I may be comfortable doing with you, like dinner, sleepovers, or road trips, might differ from those I may be comfortable doing with anyone reading your review of me, especially if I’ve never met them.